The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Childhood
We celebrate when kids ace a spelling test or solve a tricky math problem—but what about when they take a deep breath before reacting or comfort a friend who’s having a tough day?
That’s emotional intelligence (EQ) in action—and it’s just as important (if not more) than academic skills.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, express, and manage emotions in healthy ways. It also includes recognizing how others are feeling and responding with empathy. These skills play a huge role in how children build relationships, resolve conflict, stay motivated, and even succeed in school.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than Ever
In today’s fast-paced, high-pressure world, EQ gives kids something powerful: the ability to slow down, reflect, and connect.
Studies show that children with higher emotional intelligence:
Perform better academically
Experience less stress and anxiety
Build stronger social relationships
Are more likely to make responsible decisions
According to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, students with strong EQ skills are not only more engaged in learning but also show improved academic and social outcomes (Brackett et al., 2019). Another long-term study found that early emotional skills in kindergarten predicted success all the way into adulthood (Jones, Greenberg, & Crowley, 2015).
5 Ways to Help Kids Grow Their EQ
Here’s the great news: emotional intelligence can be taught—and it starts with everyday moments of connection.
1. Talk About Feelings (All of Them!)
Labelling emotions helps kids make sense of what they’re feeling. Try saying, “You look frustrated. Want to talk about it?” Emotional vocabulary is the first step toward emotional regulation.
2. Model Empathy
Children mirror what they see. When adults respond with calm and kindness (even when it’s hard), kids learn to do the same.
3. Create Calm-Down Strategies
From deep breathing to movement breaks, giving kids tools to manage big feelings builds confidence and reduces meltdowns.
4. Let Mistakes Be Teachers
Use setbacks as chances to reflect, not punish. “How did that feel? What can we try next time?” This growth mindset helps build resilience.
5. Talk Through Challenges Together
Encourage problem-solving by asking open-ended questions: “What happened? How do you think they felt? What could we do differently?” These conversations strengthen empathy and self-awareness.
Final Thoughts
Helping children build emotional intelligence doesn’t mean shielding them from hard feelings—it means equipping them to handle those feelings with strength and compassion. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or caregiver, your influence matters. When you model emotional honesty and kindness, you're teaching kids to do the same. So yes—let’s keep practicing the ABCs., but let’s also cheer for the deep breaths, the empathy, the kindness, and the courage it takes to feel big feelings and grow from them. Let’s grow both minds and hearts!
References
Brackett, M. A., et al. (2019). Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence: RULER Approach and Student Outcomes.
Jones, D. E., Greenberg, M., & Crowley, M. (2015). Early social-emotional functioning and public health: The relationship between kindergarten social competence and future wellness. American Journal of Public Health, 105(11), 2283–2290.
